The Innocence and The Stupidity

You know what's really strange? This is what happens every single time. Someone, somewhere in the world gets a bright idea - some new fangled way to piss off some of the most violent, vindictive people in the world. And like a well rehearsed card trick, it just works. 

Whether its a cartoon or an amateurish video on YT, it's good enough to set us off. First, a group of protestors somewhere will go a little wild and the issue will become newsworthy. Then, the more enlightened amongst us become armchair activists and take up the issue on Facebook and Twitter as if all the world's problems are solved on these forums, not in the UN or anything. 

And finally, flag bearing, stone toting protestors take to the streets in Pakistan, breaking shop windows, burnings banks and petrol stations, even police vehicles. All in the name of avenging blasphemy. 

I have, of course, a couple of points I'd like to make here. 

First, is blasphemy a bigger sin than murder? Because I sure as hell don't see people gathering in crowds of thousands, protesting the killing that grace the streets of Karachi everyday. And if it's ok for someone to get away with murder without so much as a stone thrown or a bank burnt, then what's a little blasphemy?

That's the minor point. The bigger one is this: is our religion and faith really so brittle that it's ready to snap at the slightest mention of "gustakhi" against the Holy Prophet or the Quran? Is it really? Before someone declares a fatwa against me, let me set the record straight: I am not suggesting that acts of blasphemy should be totally ignored (although this would be super effective, see next para for details). I am simply suggesting that (1) there is a way to record your protest and (2) there are bigger issues currently at hand.

You know what they say about kids: if they're doing something to get your attention (something unpleasant, naturally), just ignore them and they'll stop. If you reprimand them or react, there's a chance they'll keep doing it. It's the age-old school yard principle. If someone is calling you names, either go punch their lights out or ignore them. If you keep reacting or crying, they'll keep doing it all the more. But this is precisely the kind of idea that's going to get me killed if I keep going on about it. 

By the way - how many people have actually seen the video anyway? I saw it yesterday before YT got blocked in PK and I was quite surprised to find that this "movie" is, at best, a very amateurish attempt at putting together a video. I'm not exaggerating - you have people walking around in broad daylight without shadows (filmed on a green screen and placed on a static desert backdrop). The actors lines have been recorded over and the resulting lip-sync looks like a Spanish drama that's been translated to Urdu via Italian. I kid you not. The video is 13 minutes long, and claims to be trailer of the real movie. However, there is no mention of a production house, actors' names, director's name or release date, all of which you'd expect in a trailer. Personally, I am of the opinion that there is no movie. This is it - a 13 minute video designed to achieve exactly what it did achieve. 

The sad part is, Muslims all over the world have given this video a lot more importance than it ever deserved. The production values of the song Waderay ka Beta were of epic proportions, compared to this. In fact, there was a great video on YT once upon a time, called Charlie bit my Finger. And that was better made than this. The "Innocence of Muslims" has revealed just that - the innocence of an uneducated mass of people who have committed the grievous sin of abandoning their own judgement and have chosen to blindly follow a mob. And this sin is what becomes the fine line between innocence and stupidity. 

Why the iPhone 5 made me sad

Let me begin by saying this: I am a serious Apple fan. At work, I use an iMac. At home, a MacBook. On the move, an iPad. In the car, an iPod. And in my pocket, an iPhone. When the need presents itself, I am prepared to preach the righteous way to the unenlightened. 

And so, on September 12, I was glued to my iPhone, keeping an eye on iclarified's live feed from the Apple event, waiting for the iPhone 5 to be launched. For the past few months, I had watched the series of leaks: the front of the phone, then the back of the phone, then the dock connector and so on. In a symphony of leaks that would have put wiki leaks to shame, the iPhone 5 took shape before our eyes. And yet, based in a history of awe-inspiring product launches, I just knew that apple had something up it's sleeve. One last card that no one knew about. One Siri-like rabbit that Tim Cook would pull out of his hat that would out the entire droid world and windows world to shame. The only problem is, he didn't do that. 

And thats why, the iPhone 5 is not so much about what it is, but what it isn't. And there's something terribly wrong with that statement.

Perhaps we should have expected it. A company like Apple, known for its famous secrecy about its products, allowing leaks of such magnitude before such an important launch? To me, thats the corporate equivalent of telling someone to sit down before giving them bad news. Note that there were no leaks about the new iPod touch, which too was a major product update. Which brings us to why - why is there suddenly a disconnect between what Apple fans expect and what the company has delivered?

Too much, too soon

One theory is that for a lot of breakthrough technologies - which may very well already exist - it might be too soon. A fancy touchscreen that has a surface that morphs according to applications is in the offing, but perhaps Apple thinks that something like that might be upping the ante too much right now. The corporate version of this normally goes like ‘its not yet commercially viable to make the technology available to the public’.

If its not broken, don’t fix it

This is truly dangerous territory for Apple. They’re falling into the trap of complacency... Jony Ive cushioned it nicely when he said that Apple is very careful about changing the iphone because they realize how important it is to consumers. To me, that sounds sort of like saying ‘We’ve got a good thing going and we know it’. 

Incremental is never detrimental

This follows on from the above reason: incremental changes will always be taken well by audiences, even if all of them don’t like the product in the first instance. Its true: the iphone 5 is an excellent phone. Its thin, its light, its runs iOS, it has Siri and a whole host of other excellent features. It looks damn good and it has the coveted Apple logo on it. It’s just that if you already have an iPhone 4S, you might not feel the insane urge to upgrade immediately.

The iPhone 5 launch made me feel a little sad. It made me miss Steve Jobs, even though I’m sure he signed off on this product well before he passed on to iHeaven. It made me miss the magic of Apple product launches of days gone by. Apple has always been at the forefront of development - the multitouch technology, the retina display, Siri: all excellent examples of the speed at which hardware is advancing. And that’s whats missing from the iPhone 5.

Having said all that, man that phone looks good. Do I want one? 

Are you kidding? Hell yes!