Trial by Fire and Ransom

My faith in the last vestiges of humanity, particular in our part of the world, evaporated yesterday. I was faced with a revelation so shocking and harrowing that I am as yet unable to find adjectives that truly depict the horror within.

It was not that long ago that over 300 people lost their lives in the tragic inferno at a textile factory in Karachi. This post, largely an out-loud rant, is not about the owners and their apparent lack of regard for safety of their workers or even how they went to Larkana, of all places, to get bail. No, this is about a sin bigger than theirs.

Soon after the fire, the Government announced compensation for the families of the victims. Organizations like KESC also stepped forward to provide assistance through financial relief. It was the least that the public and private sector could do to help those whose lives had been shredded by the shrapnel of this fire. The pain of losing someone to a death like this is not something that one accepts easily - in fact, many of the relatives are only now beginning to come to terms with their loss and are beginning to put the pieces of the lives back together. Helping them along in this process, believe it or not, are political parties who have started visiting them, demanding their "share" of the compensation. Or 'bhatta' as it is more commonly known. What better reality check than to be thrust back into the vagaries of everyday life in Karachi - and what better way to do that, then to demand bhatta from the relatives of fire victims?

I was also told that there are two families who have already received compensation and people from their homes have already been kidnapped for ransom. An effective collection technique and ominous warning to those who may have second thoughts about cooperating. Perhaps you have, by now, understood the reason for my sheer horror at this bizarre situation. And if you haven't, then you probably aren't entirely to blame because frankly, we have all been thoroughly desensitized to such things, much like agents of secret agencies are repeatedly exposed to scenarios of death and destruction to remove all evidence of fear from their beings.

The saddest part is that these families, barely back on their feet and now reeling from this latest slap of fate, have no where to go. It's all very well for me to come online and rant about it and for you to read it, but none of this will make the problem go away. These poor people cannot go to the police, for obvious reasons. They cannot go to rival political parties for help, for self-preservation reasons. And they cannot go to the state, because the state doesn't give a damn.

And so they will probably pay up and silently lament their trials, first by fire and then by ransom.

The Ultimate Crossover

Many many years ago, I bought my first Apple product. It was a Macbook Pro, and I was blown away. It was, simply put, the most incredibly stable and fantastic computer I had ever used. I found myself wondering, why did I wait so long? Why languish in the agony that is Windows when such a gorgeous alternative is just an Apple Store away?

This first purchase was followed closely by an iPod, then an iMac (for work) and finally, an iPhone. The set was complete and I was able to worship gloriously at the altar of my new religion. iPhone followed iPhone and the 3GS came, replaced by a 4, then a 4S. It just got better and better. And then came the day that a pickpocket decided that my 4S and I had to part ways. And so just like that, I slid from the ultimate smartphone to an old Nokia handset that I had. Life quickly lost meaning - I couldn't sync my 900+ contacts because the Nokia didn't have a PC Connect option, I couldn't check or update my facebook status and worse still, texting became a nightmare. Sigh.

The iPhone 5 had already been launched at the time of the picking but it was selling in Pakistan in excess of $1100. Far too much, I thought. And so I decided to find something to bridge the gap. Something that would get me by for a few months, until I could get an iPhone 5. Don't ask me how, but somehow, this 'something to get me by' ended up becoming a Samsung Galaxy S3. A certain friend had a lot to do with it, you know who you are.

Now, you have to understand what a big step this was for me. A long time supporter of Apple in the patent war against Samsung, I have always harbored a principle disagreement against Samsung products. Not to mention a innate fear of the Android operating system, which I always found to be very confusing.

So its saying a lot for Android and Samsung that after less than 24 hours of using the phone, I'm actually blown away. I can see why the Android system is hated at Infinite Loop (Apple's Headquarters) - because it probably causes them sleepless nights. Now, I am NOT saying that Apple's iOS is not good. It's actually very very good and in many ways, much better than Android. But - and this is important - Android systems let you do a lot more customization right out of the box that iOS does. For instance, with the way I have set up my phone, my main home screen shows me a few important apps, an excerpt from my calendar and a clock. Other homescreens, just a swipe away, provide easy access to facebook, twitter, world clock etc.

It could be argued that it is too early yet - and I agree. What you read above is a very early opinion. But knowing how anti-Samsung and anti-Android I've been in the past, I've been pretty pre-disposed towards hating the experience. And to my immense surprise, I'm not hating it. Far from it, in fact.

The Innocence and The Stupidity

You know what's really strange? This is what happens every single time. Someone, somewhere in the world gets a bright idea - some new fangled way to piss off some of the most violent, vindictive people in the world. And like a well rehearsed card trick, it just works. 

Whether its a cartoon or an amateurish video on YT, it's good enough to set us off. First, a group of protestors somewhere will go a little wild and the issue will become newsworthy. Then, the more enlightened amongst us become armchair activists and take up the issue on Facebook and Twitter as if all the world's problems are solved on these forums, not in the UN or anything. 

And finally, flag bearing, stone toting protestors take to the streets in Pakistan, breaking shop windows, burnings banks and petrol stations, even police vehicles. All in the name of avenging blasphemy. 

I have, of course, a couple of points I'd like to make here. 

First, is blasphemy a bigger sin than murder? Because I sure as hell don't see people gathering in crowds of thousands, protesting the killing that grace the streets of Karachi everyday. And if it's ok for someone to get away with murder without so much as a stone thrown or a bank burnt, then what's a little blasphemy?

That's the minor point. The bigger one is this: is our religion and faith really so brittle that it's ready to snap at the slightest mention of "gustakhi" against the Holy Prophet or the Quran? Is it really? Before someone declares a fatwa against me, let me set the record straight: I am not suggesting that acts of blasphemy should be totally ignored (although this would be super effective, see next para for details). I am simply suggesting that (1) there is a way to record your protest and (2) there are bigger issues currently at hand.

You know what they say about kids: if they're doing something to get your attention (something unpleasant, naturally), just ignore them and they'll stop. If you reprimand them or react, there's a chance they'll keep doing it. It's the age-old school yard principle. If someone is calling you names, either go punch their lights out or ignore them. If you keep reacting or crying, they'll keep doing it all the more. But this is precisely the kind of idea that's going to get me killed if I keep going on about it. 

By the way - how many people have actually seen the video anyway? I saw it yesterday before YT got blocked in PK and I was quite surprised to find that this "movie" is, at best, a very amateurish attempt at putting together a video. I'm not exaggerating - you have people walking around in broad daylight without shadows (filmed on a green screen and placed on a static desert backdrop). The actors lines have been recorded over and the resulting lip-sync looks like a Spanish drama that's been translated to Urdu via Italian. I kid you not. The video is 13 minutes long, and claims to be trailer of the real movie. However, there is no mention of a production house, actors' names, director's name or release date, all of which you'd expect in a trailer. Personally, I am of the opinion that there is no movie. This is it - a 13 minute video designed to achieve exactly what it did achieve. 

The sad part is, Muslims all over the world have given this video a lot more importance than it ever deserved. The production values of the song Waderay ka Beta were of epic proportions, compared to this. In fact, there was a great video on YT once upon a time, called Charlie bit my Finger. And that was better made than this. The "Innocence of Muslims" has revealed just that - the innocence of an uneducated mass of people who have committed the grievous sin of abandoning their own judgement and have chosen to blindly follow a mob. And this sin is what becomes the fine line between innocence and stupidity. 

Why the iPhone 5 made me sad

Let me begin by saying this: I am a serious Apple fan. At work, I use an iMac. At home, a MacBook. On the move, an iPad. In the car, an iPod. And in my pocket, an iPhone. When the need presents itself, I am prepared to preach the righteous way to the unenlightened. 

And so, on September 12, I was glued to my iPhone, keeping an eye on iclarified's live feed from the Apple event, waiting for the iPhone 5 to be launched. For the past few months, I had watched the series of leaks: the front of the phone, then the back of the phone, then the dock connector and so on. In a symphony of leaks that would have put wiki leaks to shame, the iPhone 5 took shape before our eyes. And yet, based in a history of awe-inspiring product launches, I just knew that apple had something up it's sleeve. One last card that no one knew about. One Siri-like rabbit that Tim Cook would pull out of his hat that would out the entire droid world and windows world to shame. The only problem is, he didn't do that. 

And thats why, the iPhone 5 is not so much about what it is, but what it isn't. And there's something terribly wrong with that statement.

Perhaps we should have expected it. A company like Apple, known for its famous secrecy about its products, allowing leaks of such magnitude before such an important launch? To me, thats the corporate equivalent of telling someone to sit down before giving them bad news. Note that there were no leaks about the new iPod touch, which too was a major product update. Which brings us to why - why is there suddenly a disconnect between what Apple fans expect and what the company has delivered?

Too much, too soon

One theory is that for a lot of breakthrough technologies - which may very well already exist - it might be too soon. A fancy touchscreen that has a surface that morphs according to applications is in the offing, but perhaps Apple thinks that something like that might be upping the ante too much right now. The corporate version of this normally goes like ‘its not yet commercially viable to make the technology available to the public’.

If its not broken, don’t fix it

This is truly dangerous territory for Apple. They’re falling into the trap of complacency... Jony Ive cushioned it nicely when he said that Apple is very careful about changing the iphone because they realize how important it is to consumers. To me, that sounds sort of like saying ‘We’ve got a good thing going and we know it’. 

Incremental is never detrimental

This follows on from the above reason: incremental changes will always be taken well by audiences, even if all of them don’t like the product in the first instance. Its true: the iphone 5 is an excellent phone. Its thin, its light, its runs iOS, it has Siri and a whole host of other excellent features. It looks damn good and it has the coveted Apple logo on it. It’s just that if you already have an iPhone 4S, you might not feel the insane urge to upgrade immediately.

The iPhone 5 launch made me feel a little sad. It made me miss Steve Jobs, even though I’m sure he signed off on this product well before he passed on to iHeaven. It made me miss the magic of Apple product launches of days gone by. Apple has always been at the forefront of development - the multitouch technology, the retina display, Siri: all excellent examples of the speed at which hardware is advancing. And that’s whats missing from the iPhone 5.

Having said all that, man that phone looks good. Do I want one? 

Are you kidding? Hell yes!

Rolls Royce Made In China? Well, almost.

The Chinese have become well known for producing fake (or affordable replicas) of popular products. For example, you can buy a Nokia E72 for Rs. 35,000 or you can buy the Chinese rip-off for Rs. 5,000. Occasionally, the Chinese venture into the luxury market also, such as producing fake designer bags or Vertu mobile phones.

But this one takes the cake.

This is the Geely GE, which was displayed mere feet away from the car that is it very obviously based on, the Rolls Royce Phantom.

Its not just a passing resemblance too... The Geely GE is a such a blatant replica that Rolls Royce have begun legal proceedings against the company.

The Geely GE will cost you $44,000, which is slightly less than the RR price tag: $366,000.

While we're on the subject, some interesting information about the original Rolls Royce Phantom. I mean, what exactly do you get for $366,000, or Rs. 30 million (before duties and taxes)?

Well, you can choose from 40,000 colour options, or come up with one of your own. And you can specify your choice of leather, wood, fabrics, etc for the interior. Your car is put together entirely by hand - the only thing done by robots in the factory is the paint job. I believe there are six or eights coats of paint and the car is polished by hand between each coat.

You get a 6750cc 48 valve V12 engine which produces 453 horsepower. Thats enough power to propel the Phantom, which weighs a whopping 2485 kg, to 100kmh in just under 6 seconds.

There are also enough bells and whistles to keep the people in the back entertained. The rear doors are electronically operated and have built-in umbrellas. A rear seat DVD entertainment system with a 26 speaker sound system is standard. The front and rear seats are electrically controlled and feature heated/cooled cup holders (how cool is that?). Wireless headphones, iPod connectivity, a fridge and a 5-zone climate controlled air conditioning system is standard. The AC unit is said to be as powerful as 30 refrigerators.

There are a whole host of options you can choose from, but if you decide to go for the Rolls Royce Bespoke programme, you can actually specify ANY option you want, and the factory will create it for you.

Notable customers include Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, Jay Kay, Denzel Washington, Ben Affleck, 50 Cent and Nicolas Cage (who owns 9 of them). The largest order in history was placed by the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong, which ordered 14 Phantoms to replace its entire fleet of Rolls Royces.

The most successful dealer of the company is the O'Gara Coach Company of Beverly Hills, California: they sold 58 vehicles in 2007, accounting for 15% of USA sales and 6% of global sales.

Then there's the Rolls Royce you can have on a budget: it is a 1:18 scale model (13 inches long), licensed by RR, manufactured by a company called Exoto.

The model features:

• Hiding mechanism for Flying Lady with automatic closing lid
• Precision opening doors, boot, bonnet, and petrol lid with removable cap, all lockable and with spring loaded hinges
• Phantom Drophead Coupe includes a functional soft-top
• Plush all-leather interior
• Genuine exotic wood and aluminum inserts
• Wool carpeted interior and boot floors
• Interior features fully functional seats, sunshades, glove box, center arm console, and more
• Superb polished chrome and brushed stainless steel
• Fully wired and plumbed V12 Rolls Royce engine, full electrical and mechanical components, including many machined parts
• Wealth of photo-etch parts, nickel plated as appropriate
• Photo-etch and machined metal disc brakes and metal multi-link suspension assembly
• Machined hexagonal bolt heads on engine valve covers
• Removable wheels fastened by five metal wheel studs and nuts on each wheel, hidden behind a removable center cap
• Semi-pneumatic tires
• Genuine gas filled shock absorbers, fully functional suspension
• Functional steering system, properly geared

And the price?

Yours for $600.

(And I don't think this one is Made in China)

You're not going to believe this...

No, seriously. You are NOT going to believe this. Just like I couldn't when I first stumbled across it.

Yesterday, while browsing a forum related to Pakistani aviation, I came across an interesting bit of controversy regarding the small handheld explosive detectors that are being used by the Airport Security Force - I'm sure we've all seen them in action. The guy walks by your car holding a small cylindrical object with an antenna coming out of it. If the antenna turns and points to your car, your car will be searched. If not, you're ok to go. The extremely sophisticated device, called Advanced Explosive and Narcotics Detection Equipment. It is said to cost up to $60,000 per piece.

Well, here's the thing:

It's fake. It's a fraud. The damn thing doesn't work and it's not designed to work. These devices were initially manufactured by a company called ATSC in England. It was said to be a ground-breaking development in security, but scientists were immediately skeptical of the device. Over time, it turned out they were right because the owner of ATSC, Jim McCormick has been arrested and is being tried for fraud. 

The british government has banned the export of the device, called ADE 651.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/8471187.stm

What's even more disturbing is that the governments of Iraq and Pakistan, or at least their security agencies, continue to use these devices, in spite of the information that is now available. A quick search on wikipedia reveals that

According to the Iraqi Interior Ministry's inspector-general Aqeel al-Turaihi, he had investigated the device in 2008 but found it "inoperative" and costly and recommended that Iraq should not buy it. He told Reuters: "There was corruption associated with this contract and we referred to this and submitted our report to the Minister of the Interior. We said that the company which you made a contract with is not well-regarded internationally in the field of explosives detectors, and the price is very high and not commensurate with the abilities of this device." Al-Turaihi said that the buying process had been "marred by suspicions over the equipment and the efficiency and value of the contracts. There were senior officials involved in these transactions." The initial investigation did, however, find it could detect some bombs and the ministry went ahead with the contract despite al-Turaihi's concerns.

Despite the controversy, the device is still being used at checkpoints across Iraq. The Iraqi Interior Ministry has defended the continued use of the ADE-651. The head of the ministry's counter-explosives unit, General Jihad al-Jabiri, told the BBC that his organisation had "conducted several tests on them, and found them successful. In addition, we have a series of achievements officially documented by the Baghdad operations centre, from all the provinces, which establish that these devices detected thousands of bombs, booby-trapped houses and car bombs, and we've noticed a reduction of bombing activities to less than 10 per cent of what it was." A senior ministry official, Assistant Deputy Minister General Tareq al-Asl, toldAsharq Al-Awsat: "The reason the director of the company was arrested was not because the device doesn't work, but because he refused to divulge the secret of how it works to the British authorities, and the Americans before them. I have tested it in practice and it works effectively and 100% reliably."

and in Pakistan...

After the ADE 651 became the focus of controversy for its role in Iraq, concerns were raised in Pakistan about its employment as a bomb detector by the Pakistani security forces. A senior official at Jinnah International Airport denied that it was using the ADE 651, claiming that the Airport Security Force had designed the device in use there, but other ASF officials acknowledged that their device "operated on the same principle as ADE-651." Pakistani scientists rejected the scientific basis on which the device was claimed to work; Professor Shahid Zaidi of Karachi University told the Pakistani newspaper Dawn that "there has to be an electric, magnetic or electromagnetic field for a device to work in such a manner. Furthermore static fields don’t move around the way it is being claimed by some. Also don’t forget that there are so many radio waves of different frequencies all around us. I just don’t see how this device would work." Dawn challenged the ASF to test the device to confirm its effectiveness but the ASF refused, insisting that the device works.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651)

So, our airports are being protected with a "magic wand" that doesn't really work? Nice.

Here's an idea (admittedly, not my own): Let's get this McCormick guy to walk through a mine field, using the magic wand to detect mines. 

Why Pakistan Isn't Going Anywhere

Its probably for the best that we don't have a State-of-the-Union-type Presidential speech in Pakistan. Can you imagine what a morose monologue it would be? The President's talking points could be:

Record breaking death toll from terrorism

Increasing power crisis in country

Bleak outlook for water availability in future

Rising inflation

Falling exports

Rising militancy

Falling public confidence

Rising import bill

Falling investment

and so on. You get the general idea.

One of the reasons we aren't going to go anywhere as a country - I do not use the word nation, for reasons I shall shortly expound upon) - is the absolute and complete incompetence of those who sit gallantly in the provincial and national assemblies. In fact, so incompetent is our government that when we come across someone who actually knows what he's talking about and is actually worth his salt, we are prone to hero-worship. Case in point: Mustafa Kamal, the nazim of Karachi. The gentleman is dedicated, intelligent, rather persuasive and has truck-loads of initiative. All the things that are absolutely the bare minimum requirement for someone in his position. However, so shocked are we at seeing these capabilities in him that people are ready to worship the man and keep wondering what will happen to Karachi now that he is no longer at the helm of affairs.

Another reason why we're not going anywhere - anytime soon, at least - is the 'nation'. Yes, us Pakistanis.

First of all, the word nation means: a large aggregate of people united in common descent, beliefs, history, culture, territorial boundaries, language. And therein lies the problem: we aren't united in any way - least of all in the ways defined above. So, in effect, we are 'a large aggregate of people'. Which, interestingly, is also the definition of "crowd". And that's why I prefer the word crowd over the word nation, when talking about Pakistanis.

Coming back to the second reason for the lack of any kind of positive or upward movement in the country/crowd: the people. Those who read the Dawn newspaper, and those who read it this Sunday, were treated to sight not seen everyday. A crocodile, in Karachi zoo, with something red splattered on his head.

And no, it wasn't the blood of some unsuspecting victim. It was 'paan ki peak'. I'm not kidding. If you haven't seen it, go to dawn.com and check out the e-paper section. Its right there.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the sorry state that we're in. What in the world would compel someone to spit paan at a crocodile? What if the crocodile was not enclosed behind bars? Would they be so daring on a level playing field? Now, THAT is something I'd like to see.

Here's something else that makes you confused about wanting to laugh or cry:

In the midst of uncertainty that surrounds everything today, I salute this officer for literally putting his life on the line to protect worshippers. But that he is using a charpoy as a shield/barrier is just... funny in a sickening sort of way.

I've said it before and here it is again: we simply aren't equipped to protect ourselves from... ourselves. I guess for most of us, its a battle to get through the day, go to sleep, wake up and start a brand new battle.